A lot happens in life and relationships in six months. Have you put your time in or is your time up? In my book, if you get past three months, you know you’re in a relationship with someone you like enough to attempt to make it work with. But in 6 months, you find out if you two actually work or if you’re falling apart.

Attraction will only take you so far. Over time, you find out if their personality calms you down or riles you up. Are you communicating or constantly miscommunicating? Does your significant other add value and joy to your life or are they sucking the life out of you?

Lets take a closer look at signs that may describe your relationship:  diamond lane, road work ahead,  icy road stay clear!

Diamond Lane

If your relationship is in the diamond lane, your girlfriend brings more to your life than she sucks out of it. You’d rather have her around than not. Of course, you have the freedom and space to do what you want to do in life and she supports it as you support her goals. You both envision a similar future together and have even begun to discuss the next steps like possibly living together or if you want kids one day. She fits nicely into your life and social and family scene.  You may have your ups and downs but you don’t let a bad mood or a innocent remark turn into a misunderstanding more often than not. When you have disagreements you hear each other out and truly and openly want the best for each other.  She’s a keeper that you want to make your partner for life.

Road Work Ahead

Sure, every relationship has its misunderstandings and low points. But, are you getting past these or are these happening often and building up without addressing them? Are you worried that your partner is going to get mad at you for something before you do it because she has done so in the past? Are you constantly pissing each other off and getting on each others nerves? Do you want to plan various activities in your life or with your friends but you’re worried your partner won’t want to go or will put up a fuss if she’s there? Do you fight often but return to each other because you miss each other or because you’re attracted to each other? All of this can spur from incompatibility or not working on the relationship. You need to determine which it is before proceeding. If there’s incompatibility there may be so much work that you may win a few battles but you truly will not win the war. I’ll take a deeper look at those in the next category below. If there has been some recent difficulty but overall you two communicate well and get along for the most part, there’s just some work that needs to be done.

For example, perhaps you are planning so many activites and want her to come to all of it because you love her and are so excited to have her be a part of your life and she is starting to act moody wherever you two go. But, what you don’t realize is that she is attending these events because she doesn’t want to dissapoint you. And really, she doesn’t love going to hockey games or hanging with your wild friends and she’d rather have more nights in to relax from work and clean her place?  The work that needs to happen is not hard. You two need to communicate your feelings and be open to each others answers. You need to let her know that you will not be mad at her if she doesn’t come to everything you invite her to and let her know which events are important to you that she attend (and truly don’t be mad when she says no to one of the others) She needs to express to you that she needs more time to herself and specifically when and she needs to learn to turn down an invitation here or there.

Here’s another example: Say she says things that piss you off. Maybe she talks about her exes success and great looks constantly. Maybe it makes you feel like she doesn’t appreciate you. Get to the bottom of it.  Maybe there’s something behind it. Find out why she is telling you these things instead of just telling her to get over herself or shut up or getting down on yourself. None of these things will help the situation. Instead, by just talking openly to her without judgment, you may find out that she is telling you these stories because she thinks it helps you get to know her better or brings you two closer. Or, she may not feel like you appreciate her enough or give her enough attention. Either way, find out, and nip it in the bud.

Open communication is so important and as painful as it may seem, if its done right, it can feel pretty refreshing and prevent problems in the future and bring you closer to your honey!

Icy Road, Stay Clear!

No matter how hot she is, how long you’ve been together, or how sure you were that you two would be together forever, some relationships are headed down a slippery death slope to a living hell and may not be worth salvation.  I mean, really, you can’t jam a square peg into a round whole without loosing part of yourself. If you two want different things in life, or are severely incompatible, you are the one making your life a living hell by staying in this relationship. Here are things to think about to see if you’re in a relationship with someone who you’re not compatible with.

Let’s say one of you wants to have kids and the other doesn’t. That is a huge issue. Either one of you will have to give up your dreams or the other will have to put up with a nightmare. Or, does one of you like to constantly be out and about in social situations and doing activities and the other would rather spend time alone or stay home? This will cause problems in the long run because one will feel like he is being dragged around to things he doesn’t want to do and the other will feel like she’s missing out on all the fun in life. Is she always mad at you or are you always annoyed with her?
Think about how you argue or communicate. Do issues get solved? Do both parties at least feel heard? If little incidences and misunderstandings turn into yelling matches or circular arguments that never get addressed, you’re in for a rough road ahead.  Life throws some curve balls at you and you need someone that’s playing on your team, not against you.

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